4 Things I Would Tell My Younger Over-Sensitive Self About Weakness
Sensitivity is your super power.
“Crying is a weakness.”
“Why can’t you just be tougher?”
“You are way too sensitive to make it in life.”
I have spent the majority of my life burying my emotions and (attempting to) force myself into numb submission. As a child I collected all combinations of the above phrases, working them into this creature in my mind that belittled me for feeling deeply and told me I would never be good enough, but there’s a few things I would tell my younger and deeply emotional self if I could talk to her now.
Compassion is a strength.
Feelings are neither good or bad. They just are, and putting a moral label on an emotion will always cause more harm than good. The action that follows your emotion may deserve your good versus evil judgement, but the emotion itself is simply a feeling. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable, and sometimes it’s soul nourishing.
If you continue to ignore your emotions without letting your body process the grief, joy, fear, power then your mental health will suffer, and you may develop physical ailments like digestive issues and a lower immune system. You are a whole organism with a mind, body and a mindbody connection. Have compassion for yourself too.
People-pleasing is a bad coping mechanism.
As an empathic and hyper-feeling person, it becomes incredibly overwhelming to feel the threads of emotion surrounding you, like a small tether tugging your attention in every direction. Without boundaries and a strong sense of self, it’s easy to get tangle in the fray. It makes you wonder if what you’re feeling is your own emotion or the emotion of someone else.
Suddenly, you find yourself without an opinion, acquiescing to the whims of those around you because you convince yourself that you are happy when everyone around you is happy, but are you truly happy or just relieved that you don’t have to feel their disappointment or their anger?
You don’t owe anyone anything.
You are constantly anticipating the emotional frequencies of those around you, and it’s going to drive you crazy. Listen really closely to this one because I need you to learn it sooner rather than later.
You are not responsible for the things that someone doesn’t tell you.
Take a moment and let that resonate. You are not responsible for anyone’s thoughts, feelings or emotions. You also do not have to explain your actions, motivations or dreams. Actually, I’d like to challenge you not to share with anyone because you have this proclivity to allow their judgements to sway your desires and diminish your gumption.
It’s unfortunate, and we will never know what we miss out on because we amended our plans to fit someone else’s narrative.
It’s literally science: Highly Sensitive Person.
When I discovered Dr. Elaine’s research on the Highly Sensitive Person or HSPs for short, an unexpected relief washed over me. If you are deeply affected by violent movies or find yourself needed quiet time to recharge from a bustling day, you too might be an HSP.
The brains of HSPs are literally hardwired a little different than your average brain. You pick up on the nuances of a situation, and your brain processes that information more deeply. In animals, the trait parallels the survival of being observant before reacting.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Compassion, empathy and high sensitivity are superpowers that help you connect with people in special ways. They enable you to understand a situation with a different perspective, and they bring you closer to a loving relationship with yourself.
The binary between strength and weakness is more nuanced than you were taught to believe.
- Crying and vulnerability prove your strength. They don’t condemn you to incapability.
- Compassion brings peace and understanding so that you can fortify your mindset.
- Feminine concepts can co-exist with the masculine habits you’ve been taught to idolize, and you can claim both.
The last thing you need to know is that it’s going to be okay. There will come a day when you love yourself more fully than you ever thought possible. Your sensitivity becomes your super power, and you’ll use it to connect with so many beautiful people.
Never forget.
“You are capable of more than physical feats.”
“You are responsible for your own happiness.”
“You can handle the wild ride that life has in store for you.”
